Less than 48 hours before being transported to the pre op area, I was given a life-changing diagnosis. When I arrived in the pre-op area, I was nervous, overwhelmed, stressed, and unsure about the surgery. As a bedside nurse, I rely heavily on bedside manners and how they allow us to connect with our patients. When the trauma surgeon came into the pre-op room, he immediately introduced himself and wrote his initials on my leg. He then explained the procedure to my husband, and I asked me to sign the consent. My sense of being overwhelmed increased as I was explained the procedure for the first time and told the side effects and complications for the first time. It was new, and then I was asked to sign the consent and go into surgery.

I was not ready, but I thought I needed to make the decision right then. I had never been a patient before; I was only the nurse at the bedside helping my patients prepare for procedures, not the one signing the consent and acknowledging the procedure and its complications. The surgeon stepped away for a moment while I discussed the procedure with my husband. Before the surgeon came in, Renee helped prep me for surgery with vitals, asking a few questions, and taping my earrings that could not be removed.

After the surgeon stepped away, she came back and saw that I was crying, overwhelmed, stressed, and unsure of what to do. My husband asked if we needed to decide right now and if this was the only surgeon available during Thanksgiving week. Renee brought tissues to my side and assured us that we had options. She stated that, with my insurance, I can decide to have a second opinion. I was so unsure of my decision that I was crying and trying to speak through my tears. Renee laid her hand on mine and reassured me again that I had time to decide. She gave me a reassuring hug that made all the difference.

The surgeon assured us that my surgery was not immediate and that I could get a second opinion if I wanted. Renee also reminded me that I can advocate for myself and do not have to do anything I am not comfortable with. She acknowledged how much information I was given over the last 48 hours, and I can take time to decide upstairs in my hospital room before making a big decision on a surgeon for my leg. I was worried about my leg, my job, my life.

She acknowledged that it is okay to have all those feelings and take time to process all the information I was given. I thanked her, and so did my husband. I talked to my husband further and decided to wait for surgery, think about it further, and have a second opinion from another surgeon. Renee also escalated my request for a second opinion to my trauma doctor, and I was seen by the second surgeon the next morning. The next evening, I saw Renee again after my second opinion with a different doctor. It was so heartwarming to see her. She prepped me again before surgery, and I saw her in the PACU after my surgery.

She has changed my perspective on being a patient and a nurse. She truly made a difference in my hospital stay. She is who and what I remember most from my four-day stay at Memorial. She acknowledged me, was compassionate, sincere, advocating, and caring towards my husband and me. She has changed how I show up as a nurse. I am forever thankful for the care and kindness she showed me during some of the hardest moments of my life.