My mom is not a nice or easy patient to care for. She doesn't like most nurses or staff, but she liked nurse Gary. He asked how a meeting with palliative care, her care team, and social work went, and my mom replied, "It was crap," and told him what they told her. Gary then stopped and had the most amazing, beautiful, touching, kindhearted advice and words for my mom that it literally brought tears to my eyes, and it hit home with my mom.

My mom had been in denial about her health, and she was not listening to what I, or her doctors, had tried to tell her about being so ill. Regardless of her being bounced between the ICU and the other floors of the hospital for over three weeks, she was in denial that she was not going to get better. Gary told her that he was so sorry to hear that. He said he worked as a hospice nurse for 2 years before coming to this floor. He said, “Let me tell you something. Go home, spend your last time here at home with your family. Go eat your steak, eat what you want, and have your sodium. Stay in your home and let hospice and your family care for you. If you don't want to be here, don't. But let me tell you, when your time comes, don't be scared. Let that warm blanket wrap around your arms and hug you. Know that it's your time to go and that it's not scary, and it won't be scary. Know that you will be OK, your family will be OK, and that God is ready for you,” He said, “and I'll see you someday up there too.” It was amazing how soothing and beautiful it was, and my mom was even amazed by how beautifully put together he made it, and she got teary-eyed by it. She and I thanked him.

My mom said after he left, "That just confirms I really need to just go to my cozy little apartment." My mom didn't like many nurses or trust many people to care for her, but she absolutely loved Gary. She trusted him, and she loved how he cared for her. He would have nice conversations with her, he would make sure she was not hurting even a little, and he would talk to her like she was his mom. He was kind to me when I was visiting.

After Gary talked to my mom about going home and spending what time she had left, I left my mom for the night shortly after. I stopped at the nurse's station, asked him for a hug, and thanked him because he genuinely cared. He said, “Your mom has been here for 29 days. I can tell she has had a hard time.” He had taken the time to research my mom’s chart and knew that she did have a hard time and was there for that long. He treated her like his own family member. To Gary, my mom was not just another patient. He hugged me a few times, and we both cried a little, because I think my mom impacted Gary as well as him impacting her.

My mom was leaving the hospital the following Tuesday. Gary found out, and even though he was not her nurse those days, he made it a goal to stop by her room to check in on her and see how she was doing those few days prior to her leaving. My Mom left the hospital on Tuesday around 11:30 am. She spoke about Gary a few times in her short time being home. One evening, she became very ill, and her breathing became rough. I called the hospice nurse on call to come and evaluate my mother. The nurse did confirm my mom was dying. My mom told me she wanted to go home. I told her she was home. She said, "No, I want to go home and get that hug." I had tears in my eyes, and I instantly remembered that Gary told her it was ok to go, and she would be wrapped in a hug. I continued to give my mom morphine and lorazepam every hour, and two hours as prescribed by the hospice doctor and told by the hospice nurse. It was so hard to watch my mother slowly pass away in front of me. She was in her tiny, little apartment at home, like she wanted. I knew when she was leaving the hospital that she was not going to make it long at all, but I had to respect her wishes.

My mom passed away around 5:30 am in her little, tiny apartment with my older sister and me by her side. I have to say that Gary made the biggest impact on my mom's 30+ days at Mayo. My mother had amazing care by so many RN's, RT's, PT/OT's, doctors, residents, PCAs, etc. The list goes on. But the one who made the difference in my mom's life was Gary. She said in all of her time in and out of hospitals, Gary was the best nurse she had ever had, and he just got her. He was a nurse who cared about her and knew how to take care of her. I myself work in health care, I am a medical assistant float, and someday I want to go back for nursing. I can truly say that I hope that I can be as good a nurse as Gary is.