I can not give just one situation I had with Danielle. She was with my husband from the start of his transplant to the end of his life. While on the Bone Marrow Transplant Unit, the patients are required to have a caregiver with them. So, the patient wasn’t the only one getting to know the nurses; the caregivers also got to know the nurses. The caregiver was the one who would see the patient in their time outside the hospital. Danielle always made me, as a caregiver, feel heard.

She always made sure to put J at ease. With that said, she was also willing to spend some extra time teaching me how to do things when I was outpatient with him. J had a lot of needs, so it was extremely helpful for me to know what to do and feel confident about having him back at the hotel, so sick. If J felt like he needed something, or I felt like something would be helpful, she would advocate and try to help us figure out ways to get that item, or brainstorm ways to make things easier if we couldn’t get it.

When J crashed and I had to bring our young kids to Seattle to say goodbye to their dad, Danielle came to meet all the family that came to say goodbye. She was there to answer questions, hold my hand, and offer hugs, and was so warm and inviting in a time when we needed it most. She had to answer HARD questions, and she did it with compassion, grace, and respect. I felt I could ask her any question and she would answer them with honesty and understanding. Even when answering honestly was difficult, she did it with so much love. She didn’t sugar-coat things; however was so patient and gentle even when I knew it was hard. She could explain things at so many levels, it was amazing. When I, as a very knowledgeable caregiver, asked questions, she could explain it to my level. When my kids asked questions, she explained it at a level they could understand and trusted.

Even while in the ICU, Danielle would come over to the ICU on her break to make sure I was walking or eating. She would check to make sure I had eaten, and if I hadn’t, she would suggest a walk to go get something to eat while on her break. If I questioned something in the ICU, she wasn’t afraid to ask those nurses questions to advocate for J or advocate for more information for me.

When J was passing, she gave me space when I needed it and was at my side when I didn’t know I needed it. She was there as they wheeled the flag-draped body through the halls. She held my hand or offered comfort to other family members who were there when J was wheeled downstairs. I asked her to walk with me because in that hospital, she was such a calming presence to me.

Danielle is such a gift. She is a phenomenal nurse. She wasn’t afraid of a challenge. If she didn’t know something, she would ask for clarification. She was an advocate for the transplant side; if the ICU told me something I didn’t understand, she would clarify for me in ways I could understand. She listened, and as a patient, J knew he was heard. As a caregiver, I knew she had J’s interest as top priority, but also made me feel important. She made my children feel important and felt they could ask her anything. She was so gentle with them and played into all of our humor as well.

After J passed away, I needed to get back to our kids. Due to an ice storm incoming, I had to leave Seattle within hours of J passing to get home by Christmas. There was always something in my heart that felt wrong, though. For my kids, too. The things that hurt our hearts were how we left Seattle. My children and I made a trip back to the Puget Sound VA to see Danielle. For me, I wasn’t in the right mindset to say goodbye to her after losing my husband. I needed to see her on different terms to be able to tell her how important she is. Because she is that important in our lives!

Those patients and caregivers who go to the Bone Marrow Transplant Unit are blessed. Not necessarily blessed because they have an illness that forces them to be there, but blessed because they have Danielle and a great team of nurses to care for them!