This angel was my primary night nurse on the first night of my labor, a relatively uneventful night, luckily, but she welcomed me and answered all of my questions, making sure that I was settled in and comfortable for everything to come. The one troubling aspect of the first night was that the OB resident on staff made me feel very uncomfortable. As the second night shift began, I requested my angel from the previous night. I knew the labor process would intensify throughout the night, and I appreciated having a familiar face after all the changes of the day. My request was met, and upon seeing her, I explained that I did not feel like the OB resident from the night before and I were a good fit, and asked if it was possible to change OB staff. She understood my feelings and advocated for the change without making me feel as if I was overreacting.

Although the Anesthesia Dept staff were very kind to me, I ended up having multiple failed epidurals, and as my contractions increased in pain, the process of having the epidurals inserted became excruciating. My husband and my angel worked together to distract me, talk me through the contractions, and stay focused on the birth of our daughter. My situation intensified in a quick manner, and my pain was to a point where I was unable to focus. My water broke without provocation, and due to the failed epidurals, I had to make the choice of laboring with IV medications or change my "plan" and choose to move forward with an emergency C-section. I was in a state mentally where I was too scared to think clearly. I was concerned for the health of our daughter, and I was terrified of the idea of a birth without pain medications. Most of all, I felt like a failure. In my sleep-deprived, pain-infused mind, I believed I had failed as a mother before I had even given birth. I was unable to think straight but felt the weight of everyone waiting for me to make my choice.

Next to my husband, this nurse was my support person in every aspect of the word. She made sure I understood that I did not fail, that I had survived 27 hours of labor and was doing everything right for myself and my baby. She talked me through all the different options and made sure all my questions were answered. I felt as confident as possible with my decision. I felt no pressure from her to make my choice, but once made, I could feel her relief for me as she knew my pain would soon be over. I chose to move forward with the C-section, and suddenly everything seemed to move at a fast pace.

I was overwhelmed and terrified, but she stayed by my side not just pre-op but through the whole surgery and even said goodbye post-operatively. I can never thank her enough for what she did for me that night. She was not just a nurse, but a friend, and someone I will always remember as a part of my journey in bringing our daughter into this world.