Interestingly, Allie is not a regular nurse on the 4th floor. She was substituting the night I was staying by my mom’s bedside. Every single time Allie entered the room, she made certain I was understanding and granted permission for the meds to be administered.

Allie was more than willing to answer any questions and wanted to do anything and everything she could to help my mom and me be as comfortable as possible. Allie was the nurse on duty when morphine was first added to my mom’s regimen. This was a shocking and scary progression for me, and Allie was so willing to gently and kindly answer any questions and gladly explain what she was doing.

She was so validating when she could have even hinted at impatience or frustration, but there was not even a hint of that. Even further, Allie took time to chat with me when I was by myself with my mom the next morning; she became a friend and showed me personal photos from her recent trip. We connected over our mutual love for coffee. Allie recommended a coffee shop in town, a mile away from the hospital, that I ended up scooting out to try.

The reason why I went to that coffee shop was for a quick self-care break from the intense emotions that were hollowing me out at that point. Inside, I was a ball of knots and pain without having expressed that to anyone. The company that Allie kindly extended to me for those minutes gave me the strength to keep going. She treated me so humanely and gave me the gift of a few minutes' reprieve from the painful situation.

Allie was a ray of light at one of the darkest times in the bleakest days.