Bill Yerges
July 2013
Bill
Yerges
,
RN
Pediatric Supplemental Resources
University of Wisconsin Hospital and Clinics
Madison
,
WI
United States

 

 

 

We meet Bill for the first time a year and a half ago. My son has Crohn's disease. His surgery took place at our home hospital but a week after surgery, he got an infection and he was admitted to AFCH. My son was lost to me. He was angry and depressed and his light had gone out. He wouldn't talk to anyone. Our first time having Bill as his nurse was during the absolute lowest part of our life with this disease.

Bill was only in my son's room a few minutes before the doctors came in for rounds and my attention was diverted. After they left, I don't really remember what Bill said to my son but it was something along the lines of "Why do you look so grumpy". My son, in anger, said, gesturing to his stomach region, "You would be angry if this happened to you." What was said after that, I am unsure as I struggled to hold myself together, but then my son asked to be alone with Bill to talk. I didn't understand but one look at my son, and I knew he needed that. I looked at Bill, not sure and he just nodded his head and something in me told me this was the right thing to do. I left and sat in the hallway.

I don't know how much time went by, it seemed like forever yet not that long at all before Bill came out of the room, gently laid his hand on my shoulder and told me everything was going to be okay. I don't know why I believed him, I didn't know him, I really didn't trust him but something about him, perhaps the compassion and understanding I saw in his eyes, I believed him. I missed my funny, silly son and I needed him back. I went into his room and his whole look was different - Softer, maybe. Not my old son -not yet, but maybe just a glimpse of him. After that, he began to slowly come back. He has never really shared with me what they talked about, only that Bill had been there, done that and really understood how he felt and that it really helped to talk to him.

Ten months later, my son came back to AFCH. Things that were difficult at best before, Bill made easy. From his cleanse challenges to his taunting my son to get out of bed and move, it worked. If anyone has ever had the joy of doing a cleanse, you know how horrible it is. But, my son was laughing through it, thrilled that if Bill challenged him to drink 8 glasses before he came back, he would drink 10. Bill walked him through things, gave my son all the time he needed, and respected his privacy. Bill really understood my son's fears and he went above and beyond to make sure that whatever he had to go through, he made it as easy as he could on him. Sometimes by challenging him, sometimes by being understanding, sometimes by taunting him. Whatever he did, it was exactly what my son needed to get through whatever test, procedure, etc. he had to go through.

When my son was told that he needed to have surgery, he was refusing the surgery. Nothing I said or his doctor's said changed his mind. He was so sick and in so much pain he couldn't even get out of bed. But, still, he was refusing the surgery. After a few weeks of trying to get him to consent to surgery, the nursing staff with the doctor's office was asking me if perhaps talking to a therapist or a family friend, maybe child life would help him. He refused it all. I was lost. When the nursing staff kept calling and asking me what assistance they could give me, could I think of anyone that he would talk to, I told them that the only one that he has ever opened up to was Bill. I did not really think that Bill could talk to him about this, but he was the only person I could think of.

A couple hours later, the doctor's office called and asked permission to share my son's medical information with Bill. I agreed and within an hour, Bill called him. They spoke for about an hour and when I went in to check on my son, he gave me back my phone and told me that he asked Bill some questions and he would be calling back with the answers. He told me that he knew Bill would be totally honest with him and that he trusted him. I waited for the next call, praying this would work. Bill called him a few times over the next 3 days and whatever he said, it worked and my son consented to the surgery.

The long and short of the story is that Bill saved my son in every way possible. From that very first contact, he brought my son back from his feelings of depression, resentment and anger. He helped my son learn to laugh again, to live again. I didn't always agree with his methods, I wanted to protect my son. But Bill somehow knew he didn't need protection, he needed honesty, even when that honesty was not pleasant. Bill saved my son's life. Anytime that he has needed Bill, he has made himself available. The one thing that my son respects about Bill is that he has always been honest with him and he knows that he can trust him.

Today, my son has an ostomy again and he is okay with it, in fact, he is embracing it. I know, without a doubt, this is because of Bill. I don't know how and I don't really need to know how he did it.