Brian Helke
October 2017
Bryan
Helke
,
RN
MICU
University of New Mexico Hospitals
Albuquerque
,
NM
United States

 

 

 

Bryan was taking care of a patient who was a potential organ donor. The patient's mother had been struggling with the patient's poor prognosis since admission and was not accepting of the diagnosis of brain death. She would leave the patient's room any time someone tried to explain or discuss this with her. Throughout the day Bryan gently but clearly reminded her that her son had passed and that he was not in pain and not going to wake up. Staff from other support services also spoke with her but she was still in denial that he was dead. Finally, after many reminders, she said, "so you're telling me that my son is dead?" Bryan replied, "yes, he is. I am so sorry for your loss." At that point, she understood what had happened and that organ donation was what her son had wanted. Bryan was willing to have numerous difficult conversations with this grieving mother and help her to understand what had happened to her son. He did not shy away and "give her time," he knew she needed to have it presented plainly and compassionately, which is exactly what Bryan did. I don't think this mother would have been able to process her grief without this.
Because of Bryan's patience, we were able to fulfill this patient's wish to be an organ donor and to help others. The organ donation process allowed the patient's family to see something positive in this tragic situation. We at NMDS could not have built a relationship with this family without Bryan's help. At the end of the organ donation process, the family was very thankful for the rare opportunity for organ donation and felt it would help them heal from this loss. None of this could have happened without Bryan. Had the patient not been an organ donor, I know Bryan would have provided the same amazing care to this mother and family. It was not about organ donation, it was about helping a distraught mother in a time of need.